Tag: Support

  • Seven Types of Rest for a Place That Doesn’t Slow Down

    Seven Types of Rest for a Place That Doesn’t Slow Down

    In mountain towns, we adventure hard. We fill our calendars with training, courses, multi day adventures, and objective after objective. We’re drawn by these activities that make us feel free, so we spend as much time  doing them as humanly possible.

    And somewhere in all that doing, rest quietly falls off our radars entirely. Not because we decided against it, but because there was never really room for it in the first place. We don’t just struggle to find time to rest, we’ve forgotten what rest actually is.

    Ask most people what rest looks like and you’ll likely get the same answer: sleep in, take a day off, hold down the couch, and do nothing. 

    Sure, that is part of it, but it is not the whole picture because rest isn’t only one thing. Rest actually comes in seven different forms and most of us are only getting one, maybe two. 

    This isn’t unique to mountain towns. Hustle culture has been telling us for years that our worth is measured in output. Here, it just looks a little different, it’s not inboxes and deadlines, rather it’s objectives and stoke, but the equation is the same: busy equals worthy.

    Before we can actually get better at resting, it helps to know what we’re resting from, and what kind of rest we’re even missing.

    When I first came across the idea that there are actually seven types of rest, not just one, it changed a lot for me. I’d been sleeping in on my days off but I still felt off, restless, and not quite recovered, even when I’d technically ‘rested.’ Turns out I was missing the bigger picture of rest.

    The Seven Types of Rest

    Rest researcher Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith identified seven types of rest we need to actually feel recovered, not just physical. Here’s what each one looks like:

    Physical Rest  – This one we all know, sleep, sitting down, letting your body actually stop. This is simple in theory, but even our rest days here often sneak in a ‘quick’ pedal or an ‘easy’ hike because true nothing days can feel like wasted time. 

    Mental Rest –  This one is when we give our brains a break from constant problem solving or decision making. Reading conditions, planning routes, calculating risk for the sports we love ask a lot of our minds. Mental rest means actually letting that thinking stop, not just switching to a different screen. 

    Emotional Rest – This is taking the space to feel what you actually feel without needing to present as being okay. This one is a hard one as mountain culture often rewards toughness and stoke, which can make it harder to admit when a close call scared you, or you’re just not feeling it. 

    Social Rest – This is time away from socializing, even the good kind. I’m not saying that being with community and friends is a bad thing, though when plans stack on top of plans and there’s never a pause in between then there is a problem.

    Sensory Rest – This is a break from noise, screens, and over stimulation. Being outside is genuinely good for this, fresh air, open space, more stillness. Though between the chatter at the crag, a phone full of beta, quite isn’t always as quiet as it seems. 

    Creative Rest – This is time to take to engage in creativity that has nothing to do with solving problems. Our sports ask a lot of us creatively, solving a boulder problem, picking a descent line, adapting to changing conditions. Creative rest means finding space for a different kind of creativity – painting, writing, cooking, music.

    Spiritual Rest – This is taking time to find a deep sense of peace from within. This may come from connecting with something greater than yourself, such as the real meaning we find moving through the mountains. It is worth taking notice, though, of when that meaning starts getting measured only in objectives sent rather than meaningful presence. 

    You don’t need all seven types of rest every day, but it helps to know they exist.  So, when you feel off, restless, wrung out, even after a full night’s sleep, you can ask a better question than ‘why am I still tired?’ You can ask yourself which kind of rest you’re actually missing.

  • Shifting how we Communicate: Validation

    Shifting how we Communicate: Validation

    We turn to one another in times of difficulty. When we turn towards each other, we are doing so with a hope and at times an expectation that we are going to receive a helpful response from the person we are confiding in. However, it is not uncommon for people to turn towards their trusted person only to receive a response that leaves them feeling more isolated than they did initially. When we tell our story or share a difficult experience, we are often doing so with the hope of someone understanding or empathizing with our situation. Rarely, do we turn to one another to brainstorm solutions, to explore alternative perspective or to be convinced that we should be feeling differently than we do. If this is what we are seeking, often we are good at articulating this.

    Where it becomes challenging is that as a society, we are taught from a young age to “fix” the presenting problem. If a child falls and scrapes their knee, we fix it with a bandaid. If someone hits your vehicle in a parking lot, they take accountability and repair the damage. However, when it comes to emotions, rarely can someone’s words remedy the pain experienced. Validation is both an internal and an external process. We can support or suppress our own emotional processes by how we respond to ourselves and the people we turn to can help or hinder depending on how they respond to our pleas to be heard.

    The good news is that the art of validation is something that is learned. While some people are better at validating than others, this is likely a direct representation of how they have been validated or responded to in times of need. Often, clients will reflect that when they are feeling anxious, they remind themselves that they are “fine”. While this reminder can be helpful, it rarely is when stated on its own. Can you imagine if your best friend came to you and said “I am having a terrible day and I am feeling completely isolated and alone” and you responded saying “you are fine”? While we may not be experts in validation, many of us possess the skills to respond in a more nurturing way than this. When we highlight the discrepancy between how we talk to ourselves, versus how we talk to one another, we can shift the way we respond to our own emotional processes.

    Listening attentively, avoiding distractions and offering encouraging body language and responses are often highlighted when outlining how to validate. However, I want to offer you a validation hack if you will:

    1. Try to identify the emotion being experienced.
    2. Offer a minimum of 3 potential reasons why the emotion is presenting.
    3. Repeat

    Let’s look at this through an example: Your spouse comes home from work and is irritable and defeated. You check in and say “how was your day”, they quickly respond “awful”. You ask, “how come?” and they respond “same old garbage”. While our first response may be to feel annoyed by their energy, put off by the lack of communication or to walk away out of self-preservation, we also have the option to turn towards and validate. Step 1: Try to identify the emotion. I suspect this person may feel one or multiple of the following: sad, frustrated, angry, unheard, exhausted. Step 2: offer a minimum of potential reasons why the emotion is presenting. “It makes sense that you are frustrated because (1) your boss keeps assigning you more work without any additional pay, time or acknowledgment. (2) You were stuck in traffic for an extra 20 minutes. (3) I told you I would make dinner tonight and then I asked you to pick up groceries on the way home.”

    If you are right in your guesses, they are going to feel understood and will likely share more information. If you are wrong in your guesses, they are going to feel your attempt to understand, may correct you or it may not have an impact. They are not going to glob onto a reason that was incorrectly identified. Note: Your response is offering understanding, it is not fixing or challenging what they are feeling.

    I encourage you to try this out on a friend, family member or co-worker and see how they respond. The more we practice this skill, the more accessible it becomes.

    I also encourage you to try it out on yourself. Next time you are feeling anxious, irritable, sad, etc., try to label the emotion being experienced. For example: I am feeling anxious. Then offer a minimum of 3 potential reasons why. It makes sense that I am feeling anxious because (1) I haven’t been able to connect with my friends in person for months (2) It has been raining consistently for 3 days and I haven’t been outside (3) My work just shifted to a new online database and I don’t understand how to use it. Again, note how your response is offering you understanding. It is not fixing or challenging what you are feeling. Once we offer and are offered understanding, then we can move into problem solving if it seems appropriate. Always follow the lead of the person who is being validated. If you are validating a friend, family member or co-worker, do not move into problem solving unless they request your help. For yourself, don’t move into problem solving until you are ready.

    Again, I encourage all of us to practice validating people in our lives and see how it can dramatically shift the way we connect and communicate. If we mess up, we can always validate that too!

  • Walking the Middle Path: Dialectics

    Walking the Middle Path: Dialectics

    Dialectics is the balancing of opposites while entering the paradox of “yes” and “no”, “true” and “not true” at the very same time.  We know that the universe is filled with opposing ideas and opposing forces, meaning that there is always more than one way to see a situation, and more than one way to solve a problem.  While it can be difficult to see at times, two things that seem like opposites can both be true. When I think about how this may present, I can see that we can be by ourselves AND still be connected to others.  We can be with others AND still be lonely.  We can be mad at someone AND love and respect the person.  We can disagree with rules AND follow the rules. We can be independent AND want help. The ways in which we experience the world around each of us are all valid, though they are all different.  The way a given situation impacts each of us individually is going to be different, but again, is valid.  


    When we look at the world through this lens, we also become aware of the fact that we are all connected and can step away from black and white thinking.  The way we treat one another impacts the individual person, but then it also impacts their family, their co-workers, the person at the grocery store, gas station or anyone they come into contact with.  What we do influences our environment and other people in it and in turn the environment and other people influence us.  The stress of the holiday season, covid, finances, etc. can impact the way we hold ourselves, but I wonder if we can all turn inwards and acknowledge the ability to be stressed or overwhelmed AND grateful.  To be excited about a covid vaccine AND defeated about not knowing when we will receive it.  To be excited for the holidays AND feel upset that traditions may not look the same as other years.  Despite all these opposing forces, how can we support the positive ripple effect in our families, communities and places of work?  


    What I am trying to get at here is that we can feel the challenging emotions but also acknowledge the other side. We can feel positive emotions and acknowledge the difficult feelings. If you are inherently a positive person and find it easy to look on the bright side, then it may be more challenging to see the challenging emotions lying beneath the surface. Conversely, if you are more prone to feel challenging emotions, it may be difficult to see the positive side of things. Regardless, it is difficult for all of us to “walk the middle path” and hold space for both.  But when we try,  we can live whole-heartedly and have empathy for one another and our varying perspectives.